The Grand Theatre Lancaster

SUGGS - MyLifeStory - in words and music.

Wednesday 29th May at 7:30pm

I’ve just turned 50, the kids have left home and my cat has just died.

The Madness frontman takes to the stage in an hilarious, yet moving, one man tour de force playing to rave reviews. The death of Suggs’ beloved cat on his fiftieth birthday triggers a personal quest to discover what happened to the father he never knew. Stunned by what he learns, Suggs is taken back to his childhood on the tough streets of the 1970’s Soho and his first appearance on ‘Top of the Pops’ at the age of 18. Is it a play? Is it standup comedy? Is it Music Hall? Whatever it is hold on to your seats as Suggs goes on to stumble and plummet through the trap door of failure. Then trampoline back to catch the passing trapeze of show business success.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2qiCW2l378&feature=player_embedded

With musical accompaniment and uncalled for interjection from

Deano his loyal manservant-cum-pianist.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01pz18f

Barber of Seville

Friday 31st May at 7:30pm

Heritage Opera kicks off the 2013 season with a perennial favourite.

What do you do if the girl you love is locked up all day by her over-protective guardian? You might enlist the help of the local ‘fixer’, a dodgy barber called Figaro, who suggests that you try a series of ridiculous disguises to gain access to your beloved. It turns out that the simple solution is never the best one in Rossini’s madcap opera, full of fabulous melodies, crazy characters and zany situations.

Heritage Opera present The Barber of Seville, set in 18^th century Seville, sung in a brand new English Translation, and accompanied by the five-piece Heritage Opera Ensemble.

Counterfeit Sixties

Saturday 1st June at 7:30pm

Re-live the sounds of the swinging sixties as Britain’s No 1 tribute show brings alive the magic of the sixties, with their tribute to over 25 bands of that era. The show encompasses everything from that period, from the clothes worn to flashbacks from television history including: TV programmes, adverts and even clips from original bands.

The Counterfeit Sixties presents a showcase of the great bands of that unforgettable time. The fantastic music of the Beatles, The Rolling Stones,The Who, The Kinks and The Monkees - to name but a few - all recreated in this stunning show.

The band members have performed their unique tribute shows all over the UK and abroad and have a wide field of experience having individually worked with notable sixties stars.

Join us for a night of sixties nostalgia

The Dublin Legends

Sunday 2nd June at 7:30pm

Featuring

Cannon, Campbell, Watchorn & O’Connor

Formerly of The Dubliners

In 2012 The Dubliners celebrated 50 years on the road but following the sudden death of founding member Barney McKenna and John Sheahan’s decision to retire it was agreed that The Dubliners, as a touring band, would come to an end. THE DUBLIN LEGENDS were born.

THE DUBLIN LEGENDS, Sean, Eamonn, Patsy & Gerry, have over 60 years of performing with The Dubliners between them and will continue to play all the classic songs and ballads known the world over; Whiskey in The Jar, Dirty Old Town, The Wild Rover, Seven Drunken Nights, The Rare Auld Times, Molly Malone, The Irish Rover, Black Velvet Band & many more.

Spot's Birthday Party

Tuesday 4th at 1.30pm Wednesday 5th at 10.30am & 1.30pm

It’s the birthday of everyone’s favourite puppy! All Spot’s friends will be here, Steve the Monkey, Helen the Hippo and Tom the Crocodile plus Spot’s mum and dad, Sally and Sam. Special guest Marco the Rabbit Magician will be there too, ensuring there is never a dull moment.

David Wood the UK’s premier children’s playwright (The Gingerbread Man, The BFG, The Tiger who came to tea, Meg and Mog Show) has taken Eric Hill’s characters and woven them into a bright and colourful, musical entertainment that both entertains and educates. It is the perfect introduction to theatre for young children. This musical play premiers David Wood’s reworking of his original production of Spot’s Birthday Party.

Come dressed for a party and make a birthday card for Spot

http://www.fabfortymum.co.uk/me/spots-birthday/

www.spotsbirthdayparty.co.uk

http://www.yousendit.com/download/UVJoM25BdWMwZ2xESjlVag

http://bargaintheatreland.com/spots-birthday-party-haymarket-basingstoke/ - 16th April

http://www.thestage.co.uk/reviews/review.php/38457/spots-birthday-party

http://www.primarytimes.net/edinburgh/spots-birthday-party-review

Rhinoceros

Wednesday 5th June to Friday 7th June at 7:30pm

Berenger an average citizen in a nameless French city is not interested in the fact that Rhinoceros appear to be on the loose in the town. In the local government office where he works he witnesses that it is the staff that are gradually turning into Rhinoceros.

Rhinoceros is a captivating, critically acclaimed commentary on what is absurb about human nature. Like the abstract artists of the early twentieth century, Ionesco abstracts reality to comedic andterrifying effect. His unusual language, stylised structure and grand symbolism define the writer’s place as the premier playwright in what is known as the Theatre of the Absurb.

Celebrity Cook-Off Live

Thursday 6th June at 7:30pm

Celebrity Cook-Off Live is the UK's best live cooking show! Two well known TV celebrity chefs will go head to head live in a competition to win the days best dish. The fully audience interactive show will give some members of the audience a chance to get on stage and cook with some of the UK's best known chefs. The hilariously funny game show format allows for a host of eventful and comical moments, whilst giving you an up close and personal look at learning how to cook some of the best tasting meals. Also each member of the audience will be given a recipe book containing the recipe guides for the show.

Please note all cooking is done on electric and we are mindful that safety of the public and the theatre are paramount

Jack the Ripper

Saturday 8th June at 7:30pm

Trevor Marriott is a retired British Police murder squad detective, and leading Ripper expert, who since 2002 has been conducting a cold case investigation into The Whitechapel Murders of 1888 which were attributed to a fearsome killer who came to be known as Jack the Ripper. For the past 125 years this mystery has captivated the imagination of people worldwide and still does today

He has now concluded his long and protracted cold case investigation with startling results which now have completely dispelled many of the original theories which have been readily accepted as being fact for 125 years.

His ongoing investigation would disprove the accepted theory that the killer after killing some of the victims removed vital organs from their bodies at the crime scenes taking them away with him. Further investigative work would uncover secret Metropolitan Police Special Branch records never before made public in which four new suspects are named and the contents of which now eliminate a number of the “prime suspects” who have been continuously investigated over the ensuing years.

Trevor Marriott now believes that all of The Whitechapel murders were not committed by the same killer and in fact Jack the Ripper may have been nothing more than an urban myth created by sensational journalism at the time of the murders.

His one man show is packed with pictures from 1888 showing original crime scene photographs of the victims, the suspects together with many other original photographs from 1888 relative to the murders...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JteZ29RoODE

Alice in Wonderland

Sunday 9th June at 7pm

Based upon Lewis Carroll’s famous story about Alice’s tumble down a rabbit hole into an enchanted and wacky dream world full of strange characters and magical adventures!

Featuring original choreography by Christopher Moore and Tchaikovsky's spectacular score, opulent costumes, sumptuous stage sets and an array of special effects, will captivate the audience as they join Alice as she follows the White Rabbit down the rabbit hole, takes tea with the eccentric Mad Hatter, teases Tweedledee and Tweedledum, meets the Cheshire Cat and stands up to the Queen of Hearts. This Alice promises to take you beyond the classic fairy tale with it’s wit,originality and spectacular design, you cannot help but help but leave the theatre with a little bit of the Cheshire Cat’s grin

Jackson - Live in Concert

Friday 14th June at 7:30pm

Michael Jackson is not only remembered as one of the most influential artists of all time, but many of today’s artists have been inspired by his iconic style. His career spanned nearly five decades of music, and he was continually at the forefront of popular music.

Jackson Live in Concert sees long-time fan and hugely talented Ben recreate the Michael Jackson experience with his stunning rendition of all his favourite songs.

Ben’s portrayal of Jackson has to be the most accurate and exciting tribute to the King of Pop to have ever toured UK theatres. Ben is joined on the stage by his Incredible Band and Dancers who work their way through all the hits. He’s got the look, the moonwalk and the voice! His renditions of Thriller, Beat it and Billie Jean are truly sensational.

Jackson Live in Concert features all-live vocals and music, fabulous costumes, and of course all the signature dance moves associated so fondly with the undisputed King of Pop. Pure MJ!

Disney's BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Tuesday 18th - Saturday 22nd June at 7.15pm with a Saturday matinee at 2.15pm

Step into the enchanted world of Broadway's modern classic, Disney's BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. Based on the Academy-Award winning animated feature, the stage version includes all of the original wonderful songs, along with the new songs by Tim Rice.

This "TALE AS OLD AS TIME" features spectacular costumes and scenery - an experience not to be missed by young and old.

Carrie's War

Tuesday 2nd to Friday 5th at 7.30pm Saturday 6th at 2.30pm

Carrie Willow and her young brother Nick are evacuated to Wales. They stay with stern grocer Mr Evans and his kindhearted sister, Lou. Life is very different from what they are used to. When they are sent to Druid’s Bottom to fetch the Christmas Goose from Mr Evan’s sister Mrs Gotobed, they discover a new world of welcome and warmth and it provides a magical refuge to which they return as often as possible.

The house is managed by Hepzibah Green, a kindly self professed witch, assisted by Mr Johnny. Here they meet another evacuee Albert Sandwich. Hepzibah casts spells with stories, including one about a skull and its curse. Dying Mrs Gotobed gives Carrie a message for Mr Evans which has dire consequences.

Did Carrie bring down a curse on those she loved by doing the worst thing in her life? It is only when Carrie returns as an adult that she learns the truth.

C'mon Everybody show

Sunday 7th July at 7:45pm

VOTED NO.1 ROCK ‘n’ ROLL SHOW BY U.K. ROCK MAGAZINE

All the greatest musical stars of the 50’s and 60’s come amazingly alive in this spectacular, vibrant, action packed, non stop, live, rockin’ show

Re-live the best loved hits of Eddie Cochran, Buddy Holly, Brenda Lee, Chuck Berry, Connie Francis, Duane Eddy, Bill Haley and many more

Take a nostalgic trip back in time with us to the greatest era of Rock ‘n’ Roll and enjoy top class tributes performed from the heart by high quality musicians, including the legendary Chris Fender Black

A truly memorable night – IF YOU LOVE ROCK-n-ROLL NOT TO BE MISSED

Joe Longthorne

Thursday 11th July at 7:30pm

This talented artist began his career over three decades ago with appearances on Junior Showtime. Joe’s repertoire of voices is endless and includes hundreds of the World’s top singers, however he is perhaps best known for his impersonation of Shirley Bassey who has commented "Joe can do me better than I can do myself".

During his career, Joe has received gold and platinum discs for his albums, enjoyed sell out concerts at the Royal Albert Hall as well as touring Australia several times.

Now Joe is looking forward to new challenges and new songs too

sing and new audiences to thrill

Elkie Brookes

Friday 12th July at 7:30pm

Quite simply one of the most successful and popular singers the UK has ever produced. Now in the fifth decade of her career, she is stillproving to be one of the most powerful and versatile vocal talents of our generation. With numerous hit singles, million selling albums and awards, her annual tours are a treat for fans old and new.

Performing some of her classic hits, blues, jazz and songs from her new album ‘Powerless’, an electric evening with Elkie is guaranteed to leave you begging for more.

She released her much anticipated autobiography "Finding My voice" in 2012 to much acclaim.

Elkie is a stunning performer and whatever she does, she does it best live.

Don’t miss the chance to see a truly great artist in action.

Voice of the Heart

Sunday 21st July at 7:30pm

This stunning 2 hour show will recreate and celebrate the music of

The Carpenters, the evening is guaranteed to lead Carpenters fans everywhere through a magical memory.

YESTERDAY ONCE MORE, GOODBYE TO LOVE, CLOSE TO YOU, ONLY YESTERDAY all the hits that every Carpenters fan adores. Plus great medleys put together from their many album tracks including songs that link together from The Beatles –MR POSTMAN, TICKET TO RIDE & HELP. A Carpenters country medley with TOP OF THE WORLD, SWEET SWEET SMILE, & JAMBALAYA will be in great contrast to the sad and perhaps most popular songs on her last and most poignant album Voice Of The Heart.

With superb vocals from CAROLE GORDON and outstanding talent from the brilliant BLUE JEANS BAND & SINGERS it will be a “sparkling” night to remember.

Show Website www.voiceoftheheart.co.uk

On FACEBOOK and Twitter@VOHshow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Qxz3ncb3eM&feature=share

The Magic Flute by Mozart

Wednesday 4th September at 7:30pm

Mozart’s sublime opera takes the fairy tale elements of a Prince, a Princess, an evil Queen, a mysterious Wizard, a bird catcher, a serpent, magic musical instruments, and dancing slaves, and blends fantasy and knock-about farce with the mysteries of the universe we inhabit. A story of adventure,love and redemption, The Magic Flute is suitable for family audiences, but will appeal to young and old alike.

Heritage Opera present The Magic Flute sung in a brand new English Translation, and accompanied by the five-piece Heritage Opera Ensemble.

www.heritageopera.co.uk

The Real Thing

Saturday 7th September at 7:30pm

Featuring the hits You to Me Are Everything / Can’t Get By Without You / Can You Feel the Force? / Whenever You Want My Love / You'll Never Know What You're Missing

Britain’s No.1 Soul band, celebrate an incredible 40 years in the business. The three original vocalists, Chris and Eddie Amoo and Dave Smith perform with their own 5 piece band in a performance that includes all their million selling hits .

THE REAL THING had three million selling hit singles in the 70’s “You To Me Are Everything” “Can’t Get By Without You” and “Feel The Force”.
In the 80’s they were all remixed and became hugh hits again, thanks to the band’s massive following.

he Real Thing regularly perform at the Rewind t 80’s Festivals and The Here and now Festivals working alongside Artistes such as Rick Astley Boy George and Belinda Carlisle, Kool and the Gang and Chic.

Book your tickets now and make this a night to remember

Nina Conti - Dolly Mixtures

Sunday 15th September at 7:30pm

Star of BBC’s Live at the Apollo, QI, the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and HBO’s Family Tree, groundbreaking ventriloquist and BAFTA nominated filmmaker Nina Conti introduces her daughter, her handyman, her gran, her oldest friend and a stray dog in a show that refuses to go as rehearsed. Expect a thoughtful meditation on love, life and the edge of existence. And once you’ve bought your ticket, let that expectation go.

“I laughed until I couldn’t breathe” Melbourne Age

“Put simply, Nina Conti is a genius” Mirror

Russell Howard’s Good News: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4BB1TZcO_o

T: @ninaconti

F: https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Nina-Conti/380262752033194?fref=ts

French Can Can

Saturday 21st September at 7:30pm

Following in the footsteps of the world famous Moulin Rouge, Lido de Paris and Follies Bergere, 'French Can Can' is a critically acclaimed stage spectacular that celebrates the elegance of Paris and the high kicking glamour the cities most famous dance routine...The Can Can!

French Can Can recreates the bohemian world of Toulouse-Lautrec as the perfect backdrop for this lavish musical adventure. Featuring an international cast of beautiful and talented dancers and music hall performers with glittering stage sets and over sixty hand crafted costumes, all played out against the melodies of Offenbach's famous overture that combines with a beautifully romantic Parisian score.

The acclaimed French Can Can dancers perform the breathtaking traditional choreography and dazzling new dance routines created especially for this production.

In true French burlesque tradition the performance delivers style, energy and that certain… "je ne sais quoi", the perfect night of pure indulgence and passion!.

www.French-Can-Can.com

David Johnson and John Mackay present: STEWART LEE

Wednesday 25th September at 8pm

Following the sell-out Carpet Remnant World, the acclaimed writer and comedian presents a mixed stew of unrelated ideas in preparation for his 2014 TV series. See it live so you can begin the backlash ahead of transmission.

"He’s the most exciting comedian in the country, bar none." ****Times

"More bilious than ever"**** Guardian

"Superlative" ***** Metro
"Marvellously funny: mordant, thoughtful and crafted" Observer

"Masterful" **** Daily Telegraph

"...Stewart Lee, about as funny as bubonic plague" The Sun

www.stewartlee.co.uk

Jacqui Dankworth and her Musicians

Thursday 3rd October at 7:30pm

Jacqui Dankworth, the imaginative, moving, and adventurous vocalist in concert with her stellar group of musicians. Already established as one the country’s leading jazz vocalists, Jacqui’s live concert showcases her unique versatility and effortless mastery of a wide spectrum of genres, drawing on jazz, folk, soul and blues, as well as her acute sensibility as a songwriter and lyricist.

Had I not been sitting about three feet away from the action, I would have suspected some kind of electronic trickery because the arrangement was so complex, the timing so nifty and Ms Dankworth’s vocal control so exquisite"

Dave Gelly, The Observer

"One of our finest singers, regardless of category”

The Sunday Times

“Makes almost any material sound special”

The Guardian

"The most magnificent voice"

Paul O’Grady

Aliens Love Underpants

Tuesday 22nd at 1.30pm Wednesday 23rd at 10.30am and 1.30pm

Aliens love underpants in every shape and size but there are no underpants in space, so here's a big surprise... you thought they came to Earth to try to take over the planet - but no, they simply want to steal your pants.

Come and meet the cast and Aliens from the show! you may may nominate one 20minute slot between the two performances for a cast meet-and-greet (where time allows)

Come dressed up as your favourite alien from the book or just make one up!

Jimmy Tarbuck

Thursday 24th October at 7:30pm

Top television comedian Jimmy Tarbuck swaps The London Palladium for Lancaster Grand

Tarby, as he is known to millions of TV viewers, is one of the country’s most evergreen performers and a master of light entertainment.

Having successfully spent more than 40 years in the notoriously fickle world of showbusiness, Jimmy Tarbuck has hosted numerous television shows, variety shows, chat shows and game shows and his cheeky grin and boy-next-door charms have won him fans far away from his native Liverpool.

However, Tarby is at his best in front of a live audience and during his date in (town) he will be sharing anecdotes, demonstrating his quickfire wit and thoroughly entertaining the audience in a show which promises comedy for grown-ups rather than adult comedy.

During the entertaining evening, Tarby will be using photos and video footage to take audiences on a nostalgic trip down memory lane with a wealth of hugely funny stories and anecdotes ranging from being at school and in the same class as John Lennon to playing golf with Bing Crosby.

POSPONED. NEW DATE TO BE ADVISED

Gyles Brandreth - Looking For Happiness

Saturday 26th October at 7:30pm

When Gyles Brandreth set out to find the secret of "How to be Happy" he started in Las Vegas and ended up in the psychiatrist's chair. What he discovered about who gets to be happy and how, plus other useful lessons picked up along the way from Frank Sinatra, Frankie Howerd, and The Queen among others, provide the essence of a unique one-man show that should make you laugh and could change your life.

Award-winning raconteur, Just A Minute regular and One Show reporter Gyles has recently appeared on QI, Countdown, The Matt Lucas Awards, Have I Got News For You, Countdown and Desert Island Discs.

‘Urbane, witty prince among charmers. Joy. Deep deep joy.’ ***** (Scotsman)

‘A must-see show … a stand-alone comic.’ ***** (Ed Fest Magazine)

‘Incredibly funny, wildly indiscreet.’ (Daily Mail)

‘Gyles Brandreth has a serious talent for making people laugh.’ (Daily Mirror)

www.gylesbrandreth.net www.oscarwildemurdermysteries.com

Rat Pack Vegas Spectacular Show

Wednesday 30th October at 7:30pm

Purveyors of Cool swing into town with
The Greatest Music of the 20th Century

Wonderful memories - totally live show - successful worldwide
Frank Sinatra - Dean Martin - Sammy Davis

Every song a classic - Come Fly with Me, Volare,
That’s Amore, Under My Skin, Mr Bojangles,
Mack The Knife, and many more of your favourites.

The BBC summed it up in one word
MAGNIFICENT!

www.ratpack.biz

Cirque Du Hilarious

Thursday 31st October at 2:30pm

Fresh from their 8-week sell-out pantomime in Newcastle Theatre Royal, where they have wowed audiences for the past seven years, CLIVE WEBB and DANNY ADAMS are ready to hit the road with “Cirque Du Hilarious - Daredevils & Clowns”, their new show for 2013.

Dubbed “The Superstars of Slapstick”, father and son Clive and Danny’s particular brand of lunacy runs throughout the show, causing chaos on stage and screams of laughter from all the family. With a full supporting cast, of dancers, singers & brilliant Circus acts, Circus Hilarious is like no other Circus.

Described by What's On Stage, “The multi-talented duo’s mixture of slapstick, magic and humour had the audience in the palm of their hands from the moment they took to the stage” and the Express & Star wrote, “Hilarious by name – hilarious by nature - the audience participation …. literally had tears rolling down my face”.

Stephen K. Amos is the Spokesman

Sunday 3rd November at 8pm

Fresh from the Edinburgh Festival, Amos is hitting the road with a brand new show for 2013 and sharing with the UK the show which has been a smash hit success across Australia and New Zealand!

Expect an hour of fun, warmth, big laughs and audience interaction from the master of feel-good comedy.

Live At The Apollo (BBC1), Have I Got News For You (BBC 1), Life: An Idiots Guide (Radio 4)

Listen out for Series 3 of Life: An Idiot’s Guide – Coming to Radio 4 soon!

"The warmest comic around, able to riff off a crowd and make them feel good about themselves.." The Sunday Time

"It was all fabulous. But it was when riffing with the audience that Amos truly excelled. With a packed venue ready on his side, Amos drew people into his routines; his finely honed sensibility turned innocent remarks into comedy gold" – Herald Sun

“If laughter is the best medicine, then Amos should be prescribed by the NHS for his formidable healing powers.” – London Evening Standard.

Chubby Brown

Friday 8th November at 7:30pm

Roy Chubby Brown returns with his bluest show yet!

He’s still rude, he’s still crude and this time he’s turning headlines into punch lines as his rip-roaring brand of banter continues to burst bellies across the country. Chubby doesn’t hold back from sharing his outlandish views on news, women and gender, sailing so close to the mark, even the most seasoned of fans will be left gob-smacked!

As politically incorrect as ever ‘The World’s Most Outrageous Comedian’ is far too rude for TV, so this live performance is the only place to catch the
flamboyant comedian! If easily offended please stay away!

Jethro

Monday 11th November at 7:30pm

Laughter not only provides a full-scale workout for your muscles, it unleashes a rush of stress-busting endorphins which strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress.

Always slightly on the edge, Jethro’s fruity Cornish humor is the perfect remedy to cheer us all. Turning everyday events into farcical stories, embellished into hilarity with his trademark west country dialect. Tales told with such effortless rhythm, timing and charm that it just melts all seriousness into pure laughter. The perfect anecdote to everyone’s day. Contains adult humor. Ages 15+.

Lee Nelson

Friday 15th November at 7:30pm

I’ve hosted Live at the Apollo, sold out my three-times extended Lee Nelson Live tour, had over two million people watching BBC Three’s Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show and Lee Nelson’s Well Funny People, and now cos of massive demand I’ve added a load of extra dates.

so get yourselves along to my brand new show for a night of qwaliteeee jokes, games and banter. Everyone’s welcome. Plus I’ll be bringing Premier League Footballer Jason Bent and a few other well funny people.

Go on, it’s not like there’s anything else to do in [INSERT TOWN]!!!

Lee Nelson brings a brand new stand-up show for 2013 to venues nationwide. Strap yourself in for a night of unmissable entertainment with the irrepressible Nelson, who’ll be presenting his unique take on the world including his legendary audience interaction, a game show finale and special guest appearances from premier league footballer Jason Bent and others.