Lancaster Grand

Shows for October 2015

Brace Yourself, the not so typical Girl Band are back


Friday 9th October at 7:30pm

They turned down Simon Cowell, their first single was so X-rated they had to change the name and they have toured with two of the biggest names in the business,Nicki Minaj and Jennifer Lopez. The Black Heart chart toppers Stooshe, are back.

In November the Girl Group will be releasing their highly anticipated follw up to Slip. The new track represents the journey Stooshe have embarked on over the past 18 months and draws inspiration from Destiny's Child and SWV Fused with strong beats, thick synths and live instruments. The sound is a natural evolution of the group, but remains true to their pop and soulful melody.

Alongside their new sound, the musical trio have grown into their own sophisticated look and style, Enco, passing their urban London roots with Hollywood glamour, they have channelled  their boldness, sass and energy for their powerful musical renaissance

Their musical comeback will be suppported with a fresh hot video straight out of LA, directed and produced by Damien Sandoval, whose credits include The Game, Jeremith and Pia Mia. The video also includes a cameo from America's next top model heartthrob and Guess model Dom Benjamin.

Tickets: £15

This show is in the past.

"The Ladykillers"

presented by Lancaster Footlights

Tuesday 13th October to Saturday 17th October at 7:30pm

A classic black comedy; a sweet little old lady, alone in her house,is pitted against a gang of criminal misfits, posing as amateur musicians. With only her parrot, General Gordon, to help her, Mrs Wilberforce is alone with the five desperate men! But who will be forced to face the music?
An exuberantly inventive evening at the Grand Theatre!

by Graham Lineham from the original screenplay by William Rose

Tickets: £9.50 /£8.50 conc /£7 Tuesday evening

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Jenny Eclair: How To Be A Middle Aged Woman (Without Going Insane).

Sunday 18th October at 8pm

Professional Grumpy old woman, Splash survivor, amateur soup maker, and novice knitter, Jenny Eclair is younger than Madonna but eats crisps and likes wine. Semi –bearded and suffering from outbreaks of gout and hysteria, Eclair puts middle age under the microscope and decides whether to laugh, cry or buy a dachshund! You are most welcome to join her, just button your cardi up properly and wipe that lipstick off your teeth.

Tickets: £17.50

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Get Your Own Back Live

Monday 19th October at 7:30pm

Get Your Own Back: Live! is a grunge tank gameshow based on the long running classic children’s TV series. Dave Benson Phillips hosts this fast paced live version of the slapstick game show where contestants compete in a series of fun challenges for a chance to grunge their opponents. 

Get Your Own Back: Live! comes direct from a season at the 2015 Edinburgh Fringe Festival

Tickets: £13/ £10 conc.

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Tony Stockwell

Tuesday 20th October at 7:30pm

It’s NOT creepy or kooky, mysterious or spooky. It’s Psychic Medium Tony Stockwell demonstrating his belief that those who have passed can communicate with their loved ones.

At its best, Mediumship has the potential to change someone’s life and to instil in them a sense of peace, comfort and purpose.  Psychic Medium Tony Stockwell is not a new kid on the block and during his 25 years working as a medium he has constantly worked to improve his game and push the boundaries of his communication.  In that time he has had umpteen television programmes, taught at some of the most respected schools for mediumistic development as well as setting up his own training school for developing mediums.  

Tony Stockwell: Sensitive and inspirational, his messages are amazingly detailed and always humorous  

Tony Stockwell is a Spiritualist Medium and spirit communication is part of his own religious belief, but we accept differing opinions exist regarding mediumship. Any demonstration of mediumship is an experiment and results are not guaranteed.

Tickets: £22.50 for first 5 rows £18.50 all other rows

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Reel Rock Film tour

Wednesday 21st October at 7:30pm

In its landmark 10th year, REEL ROCK features an extraordinary collection of short adventure and climbing films from some of the world’s best adventure filmmakers. Featuring alpine legends, amazing adventurers and climbing icons -  prepare to be transported through the big screen to mountains and cliff faces across the globe as they strive to achieve their dangerous lifelong ambitions. 

A truly inspiring evening of incredible films with great prize giveaways!

Visit  for more details.

Age Guidance: 15 and over

Tickets: £11/ £9 conc

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The Bradshaws

Thursday 22nd October at 7:30pm

There’s a danger of peace breaking out in the little two-up-two-down home of the Bradshaws. 

With Alf down the backyard in his ‘office’, and little Billy out playing and not asking for a budgie, Audrey sits darning socks and dreaming of winning a holiday in Torremonalisa and sipping Penis Colorados by the pool. 

But it cannot last. Audrey doesn’t yet know that Alf has pinched her club money and lost it on a lame horse at Doncaster. Alf doesn’t yet know that Audrey has volunteered him for a part in Billy’s school panto. Billy doesn’t yet know that the goose his dad brings home under the influence (his dad, not the goose) is not a pet.

The plot thickens, and plots don’t come much thicker than this. 

Unbutton your cardigans for a unique rib-cracking night out with Buzz Hawkins and The Bradshaws in “Goosed”.

Tickets: £19

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Chris Ramsey - All Growed Up

Friday 23rd October at 8pm

Critically acclaimed stand-up comedian, Celebrity Juice regular, star of BBC2’s Hebburn, and the man who once got pizza delivered to a moving train embarks on his biggest stand-up tour yet! Following sell-out runs of his last three UK tours, Chris is back with a brand new show for 2015. Join him as he explores getting older, finding yourself, taking responsibility, realising you are no longer a child and all of the other terrifying realisations that come with being dragged kicking and screaming into modern adulthood.

Tickets: £17.50

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Vienna Festival Ballet

Saturday 24th October at 7pm

A lively production, infused with old world charm, Coppélia appeals to audiences of all ages with its captivating story of an eccentric toymaker and his beloved doll. The colourful costumes, lively characters and beautiful music from Delibes all combine to create a magical and comical classic that warms and entertains from start to finish. Coppélia is guaranteed to lift the hearts of all the family. 

VFB’s eternal production of Coppélia embellishes the original E.T.A. Hoffmann tale with fabulous dancing and beautiful storytelling. We follow the adventures of old Dr. Coppelius and his prized doll, and the two lovers, Swanhilda and Franz on an enchanting evening of mischief, frivolity and a lovers‘ tiff. 

Returning by popular demand, Vienna Festival Ballet’s production of Coppélia promises to delight audiences of all ages. 

Choreography by Christopher Lee Wright.

Additional choreography and re-staging by Emily Hufton.

Music by Léo Delibes

“An excellent company of talented young dancers. Their energy and enthusiasm is breathtaking.” - ENTS24.COM

"‘The entire show was captivating from start to finish." - Welwyn Hatfield Times 

"A truly spellbinding performance!" - Burnley Express 

"talented array of young artistes" - Oxford Times 

Four Stars - WhatsOnStage


Tickets: £18 /£16 conc /Child £10

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Rat Pack Vegas Spectacular Show

Sunday 25th October at 7:30pm

‘Purveyors of Cool’ return again featuring 
"The Greatest Music Of The 20th Century".
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin & Sammy Davis
Every song a classic - Come Fly with Me,
That’s Amore, Under My Skin, Sway,
Fly Me To The Moon, Mack The Knife.

The BBC summed it up - ‘MAGNIFICENT !’
Always a fun night out !

Tickets: £20

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You're Never Too Old

Monday 26th October at 7:30pm

Steve Wood has devised a wry comedy for two actors of a certain age. The setting is a park on the outskirts of Manchester. Ada, a neat – not to say prissy – woman sits down on a bench. Along wanders Tommy, bottle in hand with snatches of popular songs equally close to his lips.

But he's not quite the derelict that his grubby sneakers and well-worn jacket might suggest. For a start, Ada accepts his proximity, with a degree of daintiness it's true but without obvious disquiet. They've met before. It transpires that their relationship goes back a long, long way.

If Tommy is an accepting sort of bloke, Ada is his opposite. Out pours the story of her son, now living in London with a wife and daughter who she's never met. Until, that is, Philip send her a train ticket and a vague invitation to visit. Well, why not? Will the occasion ever arise again?

It is all beautifully paced with the bitter-sweet mix of humour and the tears for time lost in a past perhaps beyond recall. Cole has the easier role but Keene wrests attention (and sympathy) back as our interest in their lives deepens as the sun sets over the park.

With Diane Keene as Ada (Ruth rendell Mysteries & 'Doctors') and Graham Cole (PC tony Stamp in the Bill)

Director Danusia Iwaszko keeps it all properly straightforward and engagingly simple, all-but conducting the progress of this late afternoon in two people's autumnal lives as though it was a lyric suite, perhaps by Grieg. The uncredited set and Hannah Sophie Moore's lighting plot filer the mood, not decorate it

Tickets: £16/£14conc

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Jeremy Hardy Live 2015

presented by Off the Kerb Productions

Tuesday 27th October at 8pm

Jeremy Hardy begins his 4th decade as a stand-up this year. That’s a more dramatic way of saying he started 31 years ago and, without a lottery win, probably has at least another 31 years to go. Last year, the tenth series of Jeremy Hardy Speaks to the Nation was broadcast on Radio 4. He is also well known for his appearances on The News Quiz and I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue. Indeed, Alan Bennett recently said he likes him “but he’s only on the radio”. 

However, Jeremy isn’t only on the radio. He is on the road all year round and has never stopped doing live shows since 1984. After briefly hibernating in the winter, he's back out on the road in 2015.

“In an ideal world, Jeremy Hardy would be extremely famous, but an ideal world would leave him without most of his best material.”


Tickets: £14 / £5 for unwaged

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Circus of Horrors - 'Welcome to the Carnevil'

21st Anniversary Tour

Wednesday 28th October at 7:30pm

The show that stormed into the finals of Britain's Got Talent & now a West End smash is back to mark its 21st Anniversary in spectacular style. 

The last few of years has seen the profile of The Circus of Horrors jump tremendously after rampaging into the finals of Britain's Got Talent & to this date it is still the only circus ever to reach the finals.

Its appearances on various subsequent TV shows have turned what set out as a cult show into a household name – taking the extreme to the mainstream, Its TV credits now boast The X Factor, The Slammer, Daybreak, Fairground Attractions, Who wants to be a Millionaire, Body Shockers, Fake Reaction, This Morning, Ant & Dec, The One Show  & A Royal Command Performance. 

Last year saw another giant leap for the show when it began a series of dates in London’s West End becoming the first circus to appear in a West End Theatre for 100 years & in 2015 sees the show return to The Fuji Rock Festival in Japan.

The Circus of Horrors started it’s gruesome begging's at the 1995 Glastonbury Festival and became an instant hit, touring all over the world from Chile to Chatham, Argentina to Aberdeen, Japan to Jersey including festival appearances with Alice Cooper, Eminem, Motley Crue, Oasis, Iron Maiden, The Manic St Preachers, Foo Fighters and many more.

 The latest incarnation ‘Welcome to the Carnevil’ is set in Victorian London in 1899, Jack the Ripper was still at large & this was the age of the Freakshow, a young girl dreamt of running away to join the Circus only to see her dream become a nightmare in a decrepit & corpse ridden Carnevil, plagued by a swamp of Killer Klowns, Sword Swallowers, Demon Drawfs, Death Deifying Aerialists, A Guiness World Record holding Hairculian Diva swinging solely from her hair, back flipping & fire limboing acrobats & lots lots more, A show ruled by the undead & climaxing in an awesome flaming apocalypse.


The story twists and turns with grisly murders and sensational shock’s – all interwoven with some of the greatest and most bizarre circus acts on earth, performed by an almighty cast with a forked tongue firmly in each cheek and the devil drivern rock n’ roll of Dr Haze & The Interceptors from Hell. 

The Circus of Horrors – The Night of the Zombie is on tour throughout the UK

If Quentin Tarantino had directed Cirque Due Solely then you would be only half way there.

Media Quotes:-

‘The Circus of Horrors completely WOWED the audience’ The Daily Mail.    

‘A Bloody Great Night Out’ The Times 

‘Freaking Awesome’ The Sun 

‘Bloody Good Fun - Barnum Would be proud’ .Time Out  

‘Circus Without  A Condom’ The Telegraph

Bloody Marvelous’ Edinburgh Festival   

‘Blood Thirsty & Burlesque’ The Independent  

Celebratory Quotes:-

‘I loved it & I’m sure the royal family would love to watch this’. Simon Cowell.  

‘Fantastic, that’s what I call entertainment’. David Hasselhoff. 

‘That was incredible’ Ant or Dec (never know which ones which).

 ‘Totally Unbelievable’ Scott Mills, Radio 1 

‘You have to go & see this if, one day something will go wrong & you will be able to say I was there’ Graham Norton.





Tickets: £22 stalls/ £20 circle/ £16 restricted view

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Rob Beckett - the Mouth Of the South

Off the Kerb Productions

Thursday 29th October at 8pm

Beckett's back with a brand-new hour of funnies and he's taking on the big issues like Kit Kats and flatbread!  Star of BBC1's Live at the Apollo, BBC2's Mock the Week & Channel 4's 8 out of 10 Cats.

**** 'a revelation' - Scotsman.

'Relentlessly smiley, perpetually grinning Londoner whose unshowy, unpretentious but thoroughly funny shtick has every chance of winning him a big audience…’ – Guardian

Tickets: £14/£12 conc

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Paul gascoigne

Soccer Speaker

Friday 30th October at 7pm

Paul John Gascoigne (born 27 May 1967) is a former England international footballer and football manager. He is also known by his nickname, Gazza. He earned 57 caps during his England career and has been described by the National Football Museum as "the most naturally gifted English midfielder of his generation".[


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Johnny Cash Roadshow

Saturday 31st October at 7:30pm

Welcome back the Johnny Cash Roadshow, a show not to be missed by avid fans or the casual listener. Also the only show to be endorsed by the CASH family! This year prepare for a musical adventure unrivalled by any other that truly celebrates the career of a music legend, Johnny Cash.

The UK’s No1 Tribute, fronted by respected singer/songwriter Clive John, re-creates with astounding accuracy and truly captures the essence of what it was like to be at a real Cash show! Also featuring Jill Schoonjans as June Carter, all aspects of Cash’s life are covered with impeccable taste.

The show takes the audience from the 1950’s right up to 2002 and all the stops in between. All the greatest hits are included, along with songs from the latest album Out Among The Stars. All this accompanied by evocative screen images and shots from Johnny Cash’s life. 

Comment from Rosanne Cash (First daughter of Johnny Cash) ‘Clive’s resemblance is uncanny’ 

Two comments from Caitlin Crowell (Granddaughter of Mr. Johnny Cash and Mrs. June Carter Cash) ‘Clive captures my Grandfather JUST as he was’‘absolutely authentic to the point where it felt as if it wasn't a tribute’

Press Reviews

‘A voice better than the original’ (John Wheatcroft, York Mix) 

‘Extraordinary concert’ (Daily Record and Sunday Mail) 

‘What an amazing show, you could have sworn that Johnny Cash was there with you’ ***** (The Ironworks, Inverness)

Tickets: £19.£18 conc

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Tickets can be collected from the box office in advance or half an hour before the show.

Little man in costume hired from the Lancaster Grand Costume Dept.