Lancaster Grand

Shows for April 2015

Sex in Suburbia

Thursday 2nd April at 7:30pm

Written by Claire Sweeney and Mandy Muden
Book an unforgettable date with the hit comedy of the year!
Claire Sweeney stars in and co-writes this brand new comedy about dating, men and finding Mr Right.
Penny Crowe is the host of a late-night radio phone-in and as Britain’s leading Agony Aunt, she takes calls about every date from hell and the occasional one from heaven. She is more than happy to dish out relationship advice, but is she as happy to take it...?
Packed full of sensational songs including I’m Every Woman,  I Want To Break Free  and Somebody Else’s Guy, this show will make you laugh, cry and dance in the aisles. Based on real stories from real women, this is the story of all of our lives!
Share your own dating stories live on stage during the show and you could win an <Ann Summers logo> goodie bag!
Age advisory 16+ with some strong language and adult themes.
“Hitting the comedy G-spot” – The Stage
“Definitely worth a second date” – Liverpool Echo
“Had the audience in stitches” –
“The cackle-ometer nearly reaches breaking point” –



Tickets: £20

Book Online

The Return of Neverland - a New Musical

9th April to 11th April Evenings at 7.30pm Saturday matinee at 2.30pm

Peter Pan and Tinkerbell are struggling to keep the spirit of Neverland alive. Over the last thirty years the magic in Neverland has rapidly decreased, leaving Peter Pan and The Lost Boys grounded and Captain Hook and his crew docked. With nothing to fight for and no adventures to be had, Neverland has come to a standstill with no hope of a revival, or is there?  With a little manipulation a secret is revealed that may not only save the island but create more power than Neverland has ever seen before. Will it end up in the right hands? Or will this be the end of Neverland for good? With twists in the tales and unexpected revealings, Neverland is about to have its first adventure in years!

Tickets: £15/£13 conc/£11 child/Family £45

Book Online

Noises Off

a Footlights Production

Tuesday 21st April to Saturday 25th April at 7:30pm

Noises Off is a play in 3 acts and is a farce about farce. It has been described by the New York Post as, ‘the funniest farce ever’. The cast of Noises Off are rehearsing the play Nothing On, which is a conventional farce. It is set in the Brents’ country house and there is a hilarious mix of stock caricatures who dash in and out of doors causing confusion and mayhem. Moving along at breakneck speed, this will definitely make you laugh, so come along and enjoy it.

Tickets: £10 /£9 conc

Book Online

Night of Dirty Dancing

The Ultimate Tribute Show

Sunday 26th April at 7:30pm

No film has captured the hearts of a generation like Dirty Dancing. Relive the passion, indulge in the romance and celebrate the greatest movie soundtrack of all time.

Recast and re-scripted for 2015, it’s all down to Kellerman’s end of season show. Revel in the moments you loved, the memories you made and music that’s resonated throughout the years: She’s Like the Wind, Big Girls Don’t Cry, Hey Baby, Wipeout, Do You Love Me, Be My Baby, Hungry Eyes and, of course, the Oscar-winning (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life.

Don’t be the one sitting in the corner. Immerse yourself in the timeless, theatrical treat. Take a trip back to the summer of ’63, relive Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey’s sizzling performance in the ultimate coming of age romance.

Please note this show is not affiliated with ‘Dirty Dancing: The Classic Story on Stage’ currently on tour in the UK and worldwide

Tickets: £19.50 /£18.50 conc

Book Online

Martin Bell

Wednesday 29th April at 7:30pm

Born in Redisham Suffolk in 1938.  Educated at The Leys School Cambridge (1952-56), King’s College Cambridge (1959-62) and in the ranks of the Suffolk Regiment (1957-59)

Joined the BBC in Norwich in 1962, became a general reporter with BBC news in London in 1964. Chief Washington Correspondent 1978-1989.  War zone assignments included Vietnam, Nigeria, Angola, the Arab-Israeli wars of 1967 and 1973, El Salvador, Nicaragua, the Gulf (1991), Croatia and Bosnia.  Wounded by mortar fire in Bosnia in 1992.   Gave evidence five times in the War Crimes Tribunal in The Hague.

In April 1997 he stood as an Independent against Neil Hamilton the Conservative MP for Tatton and won with a majority of 11,000 votes – the first elected Independent MP for nearly 50 years. He was described in the press and ‘a fully paid up member of the awkward squad’.

On leaving the House of Commons in 2001 he was appointed by UNICEF UK as Goodwill Ambassador for Humanitarian Emergencies.  His UNICEF assignments have included Tajikistan, Malawi, Iraq, Afghanistan, Democratic Republic of Congo, Somalia, Yemen and South Sudan.

He was awarded the OBE in 1993.  He was the Royal Television Society Reporter of the Year in 1977 and 1993.  He won the Sandford St Martin prize for religious broadcasting in 2007.  He has written six books: In Harm’s Way (1995), An Accidental MP (2000), Through Gates of Fire (2003), The Truth That Sticks (2007), A Very British Revolution (2009), and a book of light and dark verse For Whom the Bell Tolls (2011). His seventh book, End of Empire, will be about soldiering in Cyprus between 1957 and 1959.

He had a white chrysanthemum named after him at the Royal Chelsea Flower Show in 2014.

Tickets: £15

Book Online

Terry Christian - Naked Confessions of a Recovering Catholic

Thursday 30th April at 8pm

From the streets of inner-city Manchester to the boulevards of Beverly Hills, Terry Christian's debut stand-up show, The Naked Confessions of a Recovering Catholic takes a snapshot of life, overlooked by an all-seeing ~ and often unforgiving ~ God.

This hilarious romp through the guilt-ridden ~ and occasionally dark ~ realms of life is another brave step for Terry. He brings all the maverick qualities that made him a media bête noire in the 90's ~ via C4's The Word ~ to deliver an honest, funny and sometimes profound stand-up performance. Sex, violence, religion, class prejudice, even stray dogs and useful house cats ~ it's all contained in this terrific show!

The Naked Confessions of a Recovering Catholic is split into two parts: Terry treats his audience to his stand-up performance in the first half, then ~ following the interval ~ he opens himself up for a no-holds-barred Q&A session. This has resulted in Terry divulging all manner of stories about Hollywood stars such as Tom Hanks and Arnold Schwarzenegger and his all-time thrill of meeting the late great James Brown.

Copies of Terry's most recent book, My Word will be available to purchase on the night and he is happy to sign copies at the end.

Tickets: £15/£14 conc

Book Online


Tickets can be collected from the box office in advance or half an hour before the show.

Little man in costume hired from the Lancaster Grand Costume Dept.