Lancaster Grand

Shows for March 2017

Chris Ramsey - Is that Chris Ramsey?

Wednesday 1st March at 7:30pm

A brand new stand up show for 2017 from the comedian you've seen on The Royal Variety Performance, Celebrity Juice, Hebburn, Live At The Apollo and various newspapers when he was wrongly arrested in a hotel in his underpants. 


Is that Chris Ramsey? Yes it is. On his biggest UK tour yet. Get tickets while you can. 

Tickets: £20

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SOLD OUT - Menopause - the Musical

Tuesday 7th March at 7:30pm

Starring Cheryl Fergison (EastEnders), Maureen Nolan (The Nolans), Rebecca
Wheatley (Casualty) and Ruth Berkeley (Penny Dreadful) Menopause the Musical is
heading out on another UK wide tour. This hysterical show packed full of one-liners
about night sweats, hot flushes and memory loss is backed by an instantly
recognisable soundtrack of innuendo-laden versions of 60s, 70s and 80s pop classics.
An all-singing, all-dancing comedy set in a department store, where four women
with seemingly nothing in common, meet by chance and make fun of their woeful
lives experiencing “The Change”. They soon bond as they realise that the menopause
is no longer “The Silent Passage”, but an unavoidable stage in every woman’s life.
The hysterical and uplifting Menopause The Musical will have you laughing, and
singing, all the way home.
The show has played sold out-out tours across the world so call your girlfriends and
book now for the ultimate girls night out.
Join us on Facebook at “Menopause The Musical Uk Tour'
Sponsored by Promensil Menopause
Age advisory 16+

Tickets: £23

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Circus of Horrors

Wednesday 8th March


 The Circus of Horrors celebrates its 21st anniversary as it takes to the road with its latest incarnation “The Never-ending Nightmare”. The spectacular features an amazing amalgamation of bizarre, brave & beautiful acts all woven into a Alice in Horrorland type story driven by a mainly original soundscape & performed with a forked tongue firmly in each cheek!

 Celebrity Quotes:-

‘I loved it ‘. Simon Cowell.

‘Fantastic, that’s what I call entertainment’. David Hasselhoff.

‘That was incredible’ Ant or Dec (never know which ones which).

‘Totally Unbelievable’ Scott Mills, Radio 1

‘You have to go & see this if, one day something will go wrong & you will be able to say I was there’ Graham Norton.

 Annually the Circus of Horrors plays over 100 UK theatres and this tour has expanded to take in festivals throughout the world including The Fuji Rock Festival in Japan (twice), the Wacken Festival in Germany plus shows in Chile, Uruguay, Holland, Belgium, Argentina, France, Italy, Ireland, Finland, Hong Kong and Moscow where it became the 1st UK Circus ever to perform in Russia. The show also played an astounding 10 nights at London's O2.                  

This is not the first time that The Circus of Horrors has created history as it became the only circus ever to reach the finals of Britain’s Got Talent and the first circus to perform in London's West End for over 100 years.

 The Circus Of Horrors’ appearances on various subsequent TV shows have turned what started as a cult show into a household name – taking the extreme to the mainstream. Its’ TV credits now also boast The X Factor, The Slammer, Daybreak, Fairground Attractions, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Body Shockers, Fake Reaction, This Morning, Ant & Dec, The One Show  & A Royal Command Performance.

 The Circus of Horrors started it’s gruesome beginnings at the 1995 Glastonbury Festival and became an instant hit, touring all over the world from Chile to Chatham, Argentina to Aberdeen, Japan to Jersey including festival appearances with Alice Cooper, Eminem, Motley Crue, Oasis, Iron Maiden, The Manic St Preachers, Foo Fighters and many more.

 For video footage check out

 “If Quentin Tarantino had directed Cirque Du Soleil then you would be only half way there.”

 Media Quotes:-

‘The Circus of Horrors completely WOWED the audience’ The Daily Mail.

‘A Bloody Great Night Out’ The Times

‘Freaking Awesome’ The Sun

‘Bloody Good Fun - Barnum Would be proud’ Time Out

‘Circus Without A Condom’ The Telegraph

‘Bloody Marvelous’ Edinburgh Festival

‘Blood Thirsty & Burlesque’ The Independent


Tickets: £22 stalls. £20 Circle. £18 AA rows

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Richard Herring

Saturday 11th March at 7:30pm

Richard Herring, King of the Edinburgh Fringe, Metro columnist and the UK's Podfather (RHLSTP, AIOTM) picks his favourite routines from his 12 one-man shows and crams them into 90 minutes for your delectation. From his deconstruction of the genealogy of Christ to him proving that racists are less racist than liberals, via some of the best knob jokes in the business. Will your favourite routine make the cut? A great introduction to this influential cult comedian for the newcomer and a welcome greatest hits for long term fans.  ("a gloriously infantile delight in mischief, provocation and inspired rudeness” The Guardian)

Tickets: £15

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SOLD OUT - Stewart Lee : Content Provider

Presented by David Johnson & John Mackay in association with DAA Management

Wednesday 15th March at 7:30pm

After four years writing and performing his TV show Stewart Lee’s
Comedy Vehicle, Content Provider is Stewart’s first brand new full-
length show since the award-winning Carpet Remnant World.

“The most consistently funny show of his brilliant career … I laughed till it hurt.” The Times ★★★★★ 

“Characteristically twisty and frequently brilliant” The Guardian ★★★★  

“Venomously funny”  Standard ★★★★ 

"Two marvellous misanthropic hours... there's no-one else to touch him" Mail on Sunday ★★★★★ 

“The delusional ravings of a man who has lost his way in the world”  Mail on Sunday ★★★★★ 

Age guidance: 16+

Tickets: £23

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by Mary Shelley adapted by John Ginman a Black Eyed Theatre Production

Thursday 16th March at 7:30pm

Marking the bicentenary of the creation of Frankenstein, Blackeyed Theatre’s brand new stage adaptation of Mary Shelley’s gothic horror masterpiece embarks on a five-month UK tour.

Geneva, 1816 - Victor Frankenstein obsesses in pursuit of nature’s secret, the elixir of life itself. But nothing can prepare him for what he creates. So begins a gripping life or death adventure taking him to the ends of the earth and beyond.

Adapted by John Ginman, who penned Blackeyed Theatre’s hugely successful 2013 production of Dracula, this world premiere fuses bold ensemble storytelling, live music, puppetry and stunning theatricality to create a fresh telling of what has become a landmark work of literature.

A unique feature of the production is the use of Bunraku-style puppetry to portray The Creature. Designed and built by Yvonne Stone (Warhorse, His Dark Materials), the full size 6’4” puppet, which needs up to 3 people to manipulate it, adds an exciting new dimension to the retelling of the classic story.

Director Eliot Giuralarocca says, I’m really excited to be directing Frankenstein. It's a taut, gripping thriller, an exciting gothic fairy tale for grown-ups and a morality play all rolled into one. It’s always a daunting challenge to attempt to breathe new life into a classic but with a wonderful ensemble cast and a fusion of bold storytelling, music, sound and Bunraku-style puppetry I'm hoping we can bring Mary Shelley’s gothic fairy tale kicking and screaming into life!

John Ginman comments, Working on this has left me full of admiration for the achievement of the nineteen-year-old novice writer, who responded to the challenge of inventing a ghost story ‘to curdle the blood, and quicken the beatings of the heart’. This version seeks to provoke thought and discussion around many key issues that have renewed significance for us today including the ethics of genetic experimentation, and the causes of violent behaviour in some marginalised social groups.

The cast includes Ben Warwick as Victor Frankenstein (seasons at The National Theatre, Theatre Royal York, Royal Theatre Northampton, Watford Palace and The Finborough), Max Gallagher as Henry Clerval (Home Fires - ITV, James & The Giant Peach - Sell A Door, PIAF - Charing Cross/Bridewell), Lara Cowin as Elizabeth Lavenza (The Obfuscati - Theatre 503, Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom - Fiery Angel), Louis Labovitch (STOMP! - US tour, Leave Hitler to Me - Arts Theatre) and Ashley Sean-Cook (The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas - Children’s Touring Partnership, My Pet Monster & Me – Blunderbus UK tour).

The production is supported by The National Lottery through Arts Council England.

Tickets: £16/£15 conc/£10 child

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Friday 17th March at 8pm

Join German Comedy Ambassador Henning Wehn for an evening of Teutonic jolliness at its best. After his last show tackled those well-known staples of light entertainment that are the British obsession with home ownership and the self-serving nature of most fundraising efforts, this time Henning’s having an unbiased look at immigration. He also wonders, if, generally speaking, people are competent. Luckily in his case this doesn’t matter as either he’s funny or he lives up to a national stereotype. It’s a win-win situation. Come along. Or else.


“Very entertaining and very accessible” The Scotsman 

“Forget about the Euro, Henning hits the Mark” Nottingham Post

“His accent is not so much German as indescribable” Daily Mail

Henning’s latest TV appearances include presenting An Immigrant's Guide To Britain (Channel 4), Have I Got News For You (BBC1), Live At The Apollo (BBC2), Would I Lie To You (BBC1), Bake Off - Extra Slice (BBC2), The Road To Rio co-presented with Mark Watson (six part series for Dave and 70+ territories worldwide), various 8 Out Of 10 Cats & 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown (Channel 4), Room 101 (BBC1), Newsnight (BBC2), This Week (BBC1), Backchat (BBC3), QI (BBC2) and Dave’s One Night Stand (Dave, unsurprisingly).  On radio he recently presented Wall In The Head (BBC World Service) and This Is Me, Totally Sausage (BBC Radio 4) and can be heard regularly on Fighting Talk (BBC Five Live) and The Unbelievable Truth (BBC Radio 4).

Tickets: £17.50

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Andrew Newton - world Famous Hypnotist

Saturday 18th March at 7:30pm

“If you think it’s all about getting people to run round like chickens, think again! Newton offers fascinating insights into the mind, punctuated by spells of side-splitting laughter… Andrew Newton has a love of the absurd – his mischievous performance makes this a show not to be missed."

Sydney Morning Herald, May 2016

Tickets: £14 / £9 conc, students/ £5 child / Family £35

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Vienna Festival Ballet - Cinderella

Sunday 19th March at 6pm

Vienna Festival Ballet is proud to present the classic tale of Cinderella, one of the best-known rags-to-riches fairy tales of all time. A mistreated young girl, a glass slipper, two comical ugly step-sisters and a handsome prince combine to make the perfect piece of story-telling. 

Vienna Festival Ballet’s production of Cinderella is based on the traditional story, the ballet will surely touch and reach out to everyone’s heart, with its combination of pure classical dancing and a touch of pantomime. 

The music contains a collection of Rossini’s most famous operatic achievements and has been especially arranged for Vienna Festival Ballet                                                                                                                   

“The entire show was captivating from start to finish”-WELWYN HATFIELD TIMES

“An excellent company of talented young dancers. Their energy and enthusiasm is breathtaking.”   - ENTS24.COM

 “This production looks and feels absolutely right” - WORTHING HERALD


Tickets: £18/£17 conc Child £12

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John Shuttleworth - My Last Will and Taasty Mint

Wednesday 22nd March at 8pm

John Shuttleworth hits the road following appearances on Celebrity Antiques Roadshow and the second series of Radio 4's John Shuttleworth’s Lounge Music for his farewell tour.

A recent health scare (well, a mild bout of sciatica) has made “Sheffield’s finest singer/songwriter” (The Times) focus on his mortality, and the many things he needs to do before the inevitable move into a hospice. Can sole agent, Ken Worthington pull out the stops and make John a star before his retirement? As befits a man living on borrowed time – John considers Life’s major issues: the rise in popularity of hi viz protective wear, the suitability of the plastic lid on takeaway coffee cups, and the excitement he felt when sucking his first mint: “It gave my tongue activity, as the mint’s flavours bore into me, turning my grey world azure blue – I remember my first Polo, do you?”

As well as hilarious new songs, John will bash out the favourites on his trusty Yamaha: “Two Margarines”, “I Can’t Go Back To Savoury Now”, “Mutiny Over The Bounty”, “Y Reg” plus many more. And at the end of it all, a question remains: who should John donate his organs to, or should he just sell them on Ebay?

“Punch The Air To Character Comedy In A Class Of Its Own” The Sunday Times

Tickets: £16/£14 conc

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Danny Baker - Cradle to the Stage

Thursday 23rd March at 7:30pm

The stage has always been my first love. Let me put that another way. I have never done anything like this before in my life. However, to travel from town to town addressing a fabulous gathering of like-minded chums each night seems to me exactly what Shakespeare would have done had not the hefty rent at The Globe kept him in London. As a consequence, William Shakespeare toured about as frequently as Kate Bush. Well not me. I own very few theatres anymore and so I am now totally free to charge about here and there wowing the folks with my anecdotal back catalogue, games involving sausages and impressive six octave range. 

No two nights of this extravaganza will be the same. This is less of a boast than admission that a) I am hopeless at learning scripts and b) I still have no idea what I am going to include. Perhaps you can help?  If you’ve read my books, watched the series based on them or, indeed, ever caught anything I have presented on television/radio then maybe you might contribute to the feast of reason and flow of the soul that I guarantee these evenings will contain. Questions like, “Did your friend really eat saveloys from a pith helmet” or “What was meeting John Lennon/Michael Jackson/David Bowie/Kenneth Williams like?” or, I suspect, most popular of all “How comes you’ve made so many rotten TV programs, Dan?” 

I will of course arrive in front of you going off like a Cacophonous Catherine Wheel of Chat, armed with hundreds of tall tales to tell many complete with proof from my family picture album to stop you thinking I am simply raving. I’ve been at this showman racket a full 40 years now my friends – there is truly much to discuss and plenty to be held to account for. 

A night at the theatre can either be deep dish or high kicking. What I promise to haul before you is very much in the latter category. Content wise I will make Springsteen and Dodd look like short changing slackers. I can’t wait. This is the sort of radio I’ve always wanted to do, ie, radio without radio. Just me and you. 

In fact, if you don’t show up I’m going to do it in your local theatre anyway. So you may as well come. Why should the ushers have all the fun? 

So, in short, roll up, pile in and hang onto your hats. I am back where I belong. On the stage! Shove over Tommy Steele – there’s a new sheriff in town! 

See you there.

Age recommended 14+

Tickets: £20 / £18 conc

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Jennifer's Dancers

Saturday 25th March at 6pm & Sunday 26th March at 3pm

Jennifer's Dancers return to the Grand for their street dance showcase 2017. Over 200 students from Lancashire and Cumbria will take to the stage to showcase a variety of street dance skills from breakdance to hip hop. With ages 4 through to adult taking to the stage this show is guaranteed to be entertaining from start to finish showcasing the wonderful street dance talents of our students.

Tickets: £8

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Banff Mountain Film Festival World Tour

Tuesday 28th March at 7:30pm


Experience an evening of extraordinary short films from the world's most prestigious mountain film festival.   

Follow the expeditions of some of today's most incredible adventurers, see amazing footage of adrenaline packed action sports and be inspired by thought-provoking pieces shot from the far flung corners of the globe.

Ignite your passion for adventure, action and travel through an exhilarating collection of the latest films from the most talented adventure film makers of today. An exciting event not to be missed with free prize giveaways! 

Visit for more details

Age guidance: 12A (under 12s may attend if accompanied by an adult)

the photo shows Senja Island. Norway c Thomas Serif

Tickets: £13/£11.50 conc £11.50 for groups 6+

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Foster and Allen - 40th Anniversary Show

Thursday 30th March at 7:30pm

International Recording artists Foster & Allen are bringing their 40th Anniversary Tour to the U.K.

Celebrating 40 years together in the music business they will be performing a string of their hits including ‘Bunch of Thyme’, ‘Maggie’, ‘After All These Years’, ‘I Will Love You All My Life’ and 'Old Flames'.

They will also be playing some of their recent recordings like 'Gold & Silver Days', 'A Hug' as well as some songs from their new 40th Anniversary "Celebration" CD due out in early Autumn.

Foster & Allen’s style and easy listening sound remains as fresh and exciting as ever.   "We really enjoy the business we are in, especially the live concerts." - Tony Allen


Tickets: £20

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An Evening With Howard Jones solo - the songs, the piano and the stories.

Friday 31st March at 7:30pm

It was in 1983 that Howard Jones first burst upon the contemporary music
scene with his very English songwriting, pioneering synthesizers and thought
provoking lyrics. He set out his manifesto in his very first single ‘ New Song’.
The lyrics called on the listener to challenge their preconceived ideas, to see
both sides and ‘throw off your mental chains’. New Song was recently used in
a pivotal scene in ‘Breaking Bad’ where Aaron Paul’s character Jessie
Pinkman questions if he wants to ‘play by the rules’. New Song peaked at
number 3 in the UK singles charts.
Along with ‘New Song’, The first two albums, ‘Humans Lib’ and ‘Dream into
Action’, brought Howard a host of hits including ‘Things Can Only Get Better’,
‘What is Love?’, ‘Pearl In The Shell’, ‘Like to Get To know You Well’, ‘Hide And
Seek’ (performed at Live Aid), ‘Look Mama’ and ‘No One Is To Blame’, which
reached No.1 in the US. Howard has sold over 8 million albums across the
globe and is one of a select group of British artists who have comprehensively
‘broken America’.
Howard Jones solo shows are an intimate trip through Howard's 30 year
music career. Many of his best known songs were composed on his favourite
instrument; the piano. Howard shares behind the scenes stories and reveals
the inspiration behind the songs in this critically acclaimed show.
Sellersville PA Review
On a recent solo stop at The Sellersville Theater in Sellersville, PA, Jones returned to his most basic
musical roots. Sitting alone by a single keyboard and providing the two things that matter most – the
music and the message. On this night, there would be no lavish arsenal of synthesizers or '80s hair and
fashion. Instead, Jones' performance would be a stripped down, magical, acoustic event.
For nearly ninety minutes, Howard Jones performed songs spanning his vast catalog of hits as well as a
new track from Engage (“Joy”) and a few deeper cuts. Songs like “What Is Love,” “Don’t Always
Look At The Rain” and “Things Can Only Get Better” took on new meaning but still left you with the
same feel good memories from the decade of MTV. Always passionate and at times vulnerable, Jones’

Tickets: £23

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Tickets can be collected from the box office in advance or half an hour before the show.